Posted by
Scatbug on Sunday, April 27, 2008 10:00:00 AM
That sound you just heard? 'Twas nothing but thousands of active and retired Marines throwing up.
Here's the story, if you even care.
However, imagine with me the telephone conversation made to secure that t-shirt:
______________________________
Um, hi...This is Allie Jenkins. I'm with the Barack Obama campaign? Do you...um...sell...you know, military t-shirts?
Cool...I'm looking for one that has the letters U. S. M. C. Do you have something like that?
You do? Excellent. And if you don't mind, my boss, like, totally threw this task at me at the last minute. So I don't even know...What does, or...um...do those letters stand for?
[Gasp] Really?? Wow. That's like totally...wow. Well, anyway...What about colors?
That's it? Just gray? My boss said something earth tone, or sky blue...
Oh. I see. At least it won't clash, I guess. Okay...One last thing. What about the material? We'd like to get something made from fair trade organic hemp if possible.
Bummer...But do you know anything about the factory in Bangladesh?
Why are you laughing?
Oh. [giggle] Right...Everything's a cause...psst! [whisper] Don't tell anyone I said that.
[giggle] You're very cool for a dude who sells military stuff.
[giggle] That one was like totally over my head. I guess I should google 'howitzer' when I get a chance. Anyway...It is like so past the start of happy hour. I guess I'll go ahead and take the gray in an extra-large.
Wha...? Just one is fine. I can't imagine the Senator needing any spares.
Hmm? Oh...We're heading to the Stagger Inn. Do you know it?
Cool. We'll be there about 6ish. So absolutely...Drop by.
Sure. Uh...Let's see. I have brown hair and will be wearing...
How'd you guess? It's pink tie-dyed, and his head is like this cool rain foresty green. The back has "Endless Revolution" printed in this really cool, like, old school commie font.
The back? Oh...I guess it's just...you know...a figure of speech, or something...So I'll see you there?
Rockin'. And yeah, bring the shirt. But don't wear one!!
[giggle] No, you pervo! I meant a USMC one!...Anyway, just my lame-o sense of humor.
[giggle] Right...I'm much funnier in person. Smartass [giggle]...So you're thinking 7:00 or so?
Cool. Yeah, me too. We'll see you then.